I am sure by now you have heard of the news of Tim Tebow and Olivia Culpo breaking up because, reportedly, he will not have sex with her. The New York Daily News reported:
“She had to break up with him because she just couldn’t handle it,” said our insider, “He still hits her up, but she just can’t deal with the sex thing. He’s pretty adamant about it, I guess.”
From that the onslaught of memes, gifs and backhanded comments have come at Tebow’s expense. I guess this should not surprise us, as when you have such a polarized view of sex it will only lend itself to an onslaught of criticism. This kind of report is only an indicator that our culture is such a sexually charged culture. Sex is in music, TV, video games, commercials, billboards, social media and every sort of outlet you can imagine.
Tim Tebow is weird and I like it and wish more people were like him but I want to emphasize something very clear:Virginity or the loss of virginity does not make you any more or less a Christian…Jesus does. Click To Tweet
Massive campaigns (Purity Ring) and other mission efforts make virginity seem like the crème-de-la-crème of Christian virtues. If you have slipped or messed-up in this area then you are damaged goods. Jen Pollock Michel wrote a post a couple of years back called, “Virginity Isn’t Our Holy Grail” that speaks to what I am saying (long quote):
Implicit in what I’m reading about purity from Bessey, and a host of other women, such as Elizabeth Esther, Rachel Held Evans, and Carolyn Custis James, is a broad concern over how the church handles and presents God’s teachings on sexual sin. This topic matters a great deal, considering that nearly 80 percent of self-proclaimed Christians are having sex before they are married.
The church has been pushing purity standards for ages. Esther refers to the shame she carried with her as a virgin into her marriage because she’d kissed a couple of boys before her husband and because she had masturbated. Esther would argue that the church’s restrictions are becoming more rigorous, and by outlining its own capricious rules, the Church has inevitably constructed a “new and improved virginity.” But is there such a thing as hyper-purity, a sexual standard more rigorous than God’s? Referring back to Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount, where he insists that lust is equivalent to adultery (Matt. 5:27-30), I’m not so sure.
God’s purity standard is effectively impossible to meet. We can, though, fall guilty of making God’s grace small by making sexual sin big, whenever the church insists that non-virgins are cast beyond the reach of grace. Sexual promiscuity is not the unforgiveable sin. Let’s not forget those featured in Jesus’ genealogy (Judah, the man who slept with his daughter-in-law, mistaking her for a prostitute; David, the king who murdered the husband of his mistress), nor those winning mention in the Hebrews 11 Hall of Faith (Rahab, the prostitute who sheltered the Israelite spies, and Samson, the man with a weakness for beautiful women).
The Bible, in weaving its long history of redemption, is not a storybook of heroes. Failure, even sexual mistakes, has not once tied God’s hands. He accomplishes what he wills through the worst of us. But unfortunately, virginity has arguably become a modern-day idol of the church. According to Tim Keller, idolatry is fundamentally making good things into ultimate things. Virginity, which is rightly good, has unfortunately become ultimate, idolized in some churches as, in Bessey’s words, become “a barometer of our righteousness and worth.” Virginity is not a moral merit badge. Whether or not we have had sex before marriage, we are all lawbreakers (James 2:10). None can feel superior ¾ not even the virgins among us.
To be fair, Tebow is not advocating that he is some superhero because of his virginity but the onslaught of media coverage seems to think that virginity is the mark of a true Christian. The mark of a true Christian is the outward reflection of an inner realization that Jesus, through his grace, has ransomed that person from a life of darkness. He is like the publican who simply uttered: “Have mercy on me, a sinner” (Luke 18:13).
I will try my best to teach my children healthy sexuality but with that comes a teaching of hearty grace.
Once again my friends…all is grace.